It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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