69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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