I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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