so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
