I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
