take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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