She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize