Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
