Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was like eating out sand paper
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
