If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
