I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
