we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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