you would pick up someone in the library
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
