whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
