I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
