I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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