i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
