i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
