Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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