sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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