Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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