I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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