I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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