Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize