Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
