Where did you get a picture of my penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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