ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
