I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
