it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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