so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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