the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
