I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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