i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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