Already got asked if we're dating
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
