I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
