U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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