even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I smell stomach acid.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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