Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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