Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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