Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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