My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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