Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
