my mouth tastes like poor choices
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i think my cat just said my name.
My dick has a subreddit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
