this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
