what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
