i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
