You're a womanizer and a bitch.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
