Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
