Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
