my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its about making memories worth repressing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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