i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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