if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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