She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
