i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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