Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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