the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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