Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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