it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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