well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
