i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize