I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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