They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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