Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
