...so i touched it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
