The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
