he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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