R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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