is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
