Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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